When the Scars & Stigma Aren't Erased
I teach a class on Wednesday nights that's going through the book "Orphan Justice" by Johnny Carr. You may remember it was one I recommended people read. I'd even go so far as to say, that book was the spark that started this whole adventure of trying to speak up and reach out to the fatherless.
Anyhow, this week's chapter was entitled, The Unseen Enemy - Orphans and HIV/AIDS. On my way to class that night, I shared with my middle child that we would be talking about HIV in class. His reply was, "Oh yeah, I know what that is, it's that disease they have over in Africa." I quickly explained that, yes, HIV is prevalent in Africa, but it's found in all parts of the globe to varying degrees.
I don't know about you, but I can remember when HIV, or rather AIDS made it's big debut in the headlines. Some said it was a disease for needle-pushing drug users, others labeled it the gay man's disease. Either way, people were terrified. It was running rampant in our midst. Could we catch it at the water fountain? What if someone coughed on me that had it? What if you had a cut and I had a cut, and they touched and our blood mingled and then I was doomed to a death sentence as well? I seem to remember one horror story where there were needles carrying the virus hidden in public toilets and when you went to use the bathroom, you'd be stuck with the needle, and "Adios life! I knew you well." Thank goodness there wasn't social media during those days, we did a fantastic job spreading the panic without the help of Facebook and Twitter.
How interesting to find that years later, my own child has dismissed it as a disease to be found in far off shores. HIV/AIDS ranks right up there with Malaria, Typhoid and the like. We don't have it here, do we? And if we do, no one seems to give it a second thought anymore. The death toll isn't a front page headline, new meds have been developed that keep things in check, and as long as I'm not sharing my needles with anyone else or having unprotected sex, well then, I'm A-OK. How much distance we've put between us and this illness.
When I started to prepare my class materials, I checked the stats first.
In 2011,
* 3.3 million children were living with the disease that were under the age of 15 with 330,000 being newly infected
* 17.3 million children under the age of 18 had lost one or both parents to AIDS
* It's estimated that each day 7,000 people become infected with HIV and 5,000 people die from AIDS mostly due to inadequate access to prevention and treatment
* 230,000 of those deaths in that year were children under the age of 15 who lost their life to AIDS-related illness, that's roughly one every 3 minutes
I don't know about you, but if we're still talking thousands, hundreds of thousands, even millions (and those are just child statistics), maybe we don't have quite the handle on this we think we do. No, the majority of these children don't claim the US as their homeland, but they're still sharing the same world God made and that I live on. Shouldn't we do something?
I then started writing down just what type of effects HIV/AIDS has on these young lives:
* Many will become single or double orphans. Because their parents are labeled infected, their community will turn their back, as well as family, and upon illness or death, they will be left with the burden of trying to provide for themselves.
* If infected themselves, they face a life where people write them off as a lost cause, where they will always be seperated from the rest of the children, and where medical care and education will be denied to them because they are HIV positive.
* If treatment isn't available, or if their country doesn't have access to medication that actually works at keeping the virus in check, they face a death sentence.
Whenever I think of the fatherless, this is the part that hurts the most. It's never a choice. Orphans don't choose where they started, what happens once life begins, or the body they take their first breath in. When a newborn fills up her lungs and cries out, she doesn't realize the deadly enemy already residing in her veins, or just how much the world will reject her because of it. She's just trying to live. For me, my heart screams, "That's not fair! She deserves a chance too!"
I have a sweet friend who now calls three of these children sons and daughter. I asked if I could share her story and what, if anything, would she like me to share about HIV and orphans. Her reply - stigma is STILL alive and well. Unkind, unfair treatment of these children is an everday ocurrence. Children watch parents die, and are then rejected by other family members because, they too, have the same diagnosis. Left in special orphanages for their kind, they may try to attend school, but they don't get the same attention from the teachers because that would be a waste of time. In one orphanage, 6 out of the 30 children still couldn't read, even though they are all over 10 years of age. People with the disease will refuse treatment, because in order to get the medication they need, they would have to walk into the HIV/AIDS clinic and someone might see them and know their terrible secret. So, instead of shame, they will choose death. And my heart screams, "That's not fair! They deserve a chance too!"
The knowledge that such pain and hardship exists weighs heavy upon me. While we have chosen to bring home a special needs child from China, I think to myself, is there one in Africa that's meant to carry our family name as well? And what if we did step out, take that chance, bring one of these little ones home? Sure, it sounds brave, commendable, something people should pat you on the back for, right? But, the honest part of me, the part I wish didn't exist, the part that I don't want to lay claim to says - what if that choice came with rejection? By friends. By school. By strangers. By family. It's one thing to know HIV is treatable and is so weak it typically dies once outside someone's body; it's another to know it's sharing the same space as you. I don't want to be afraid, but fear still simmers underneath my skin just itching to break free.
What would you do?
Would you donate your money to provide medication and medical care for these children?
Would you pack your bags and use your vacation days to travel to a foreign country to love and care for these children?
Would you love on a family living in your town, knowing their children have this hidden enemy living inside them? Let your children run free and wild with theirs?
Would you be willing to become a forever family to one of these children? To love and nurture, even though they may come to you bruised and broken from the shame, the loss of family, and the life they've exprienced? They carry scars the world has inflicted on them, but they still carry the image of their Father and they were still created for family. Yes, it requires doctor's appointments and daily dose administrations, but for many, the hope, the future, the love that it brings to these lives is worth so much more. As my friend says, all the medical stuff is no different than having a child with diabetes, that's not even the hard part of parenting. It's not an easy decision, but maybe it's one you could pray over.
I'll leave you with a quote from "Orphan Justice" that came from the HIV/AIDS chapter:
"Will you dare to take a risk, reach out, and live out the gospel to the victims of HIV/AIDS? I plead with you, for the sake of the millions of AIDS orphans who are suffering right now, to consider the possibility that God might be calling you to do something to help them. One day you will stand before Jesus, and in that moment, He will say, "I was sick and you...." You did what? You cared for Me? "You gave Me antiretroviral medicaion that save My life? You provided Me with food, clothes, and an education, even though I'd lost My parents to AIDS? You welcomed Me into your own family?" I pray that Jesus can give one of those answers instead of saying, "You did nothing."
Anyhow, this week's chapter was entitled, The Unseen Enemy - Orphans and HIV/AIDS. On my way to class that night, I shared with my middle child that we would be talking about HIV in class. His reply was, "Oh yeah, I know what that is, it's that disease they have over in Africa." I quickly explained that, yes, HIV is prevalent in Africa, but it's found in all parts of the globe to varying degrees.
I don't know about you, but I can remember when HIV, or rather AIDS made it's big debut in the headlines. Some said it was a disease for needle-pushing drug users, others labeled it the gay man's disease. Either way, people were terrified. It was running rampant in our midst. Could we catch it at the water fountain? What if someone coughed on me that had it? What if you had a cut and I had a cut, and they touched and our blood mingled and then I was doomed to a death sentence as well? I seem to remember one horror story where there were needles carrying the virus hidden in public toilets and when you went to use the bathroom, you'd be stuck with the needle, and "Adios life! I knew you well." Thank goodness there wasn't social media during those days, we did a fantastic job spreading the panic without the help of Facebook and Twitter.
How interesting to find that years later, my own child has dismissed it as a disease to be found in far off shores. HIV/AIDS ranks right up there with Malaria, Typhoid and the like. We don't have it here, do we? And if we do, no one seems to give it a second thought anymore. The death toll isn't a front page headline, new meds have been developed that keep things in check, and as long as I'm not sharing my needles with anyone else or having unprotected sex, well then, I'm A-OK. How much distance we've put between us and this illness.
When I started to prepare my class materials, I checked the stats first.
In 2011,
* 3.3 million children were living with the disease that were under the age of 15 with 330,000 being newly infected
* 17.3 million children under the age of 18 had lost one or both parents to AIDS
* It's estimated that each day 7,000 people become infected with HIV and 5,000 people die from AIDS mostly due to inadequate access to prevention and treatment
* 230,000 of those deaths in that year were children under the age of 15 who lost their life to AIDS-related illness, that's roughly one every 3 minutes
I don't know about you, but if we're still talking thousands, hundreds of thousands, even millions (and those are just child statistics), maybe we don't have quite the handle on this we think we do. No, the majority of these children don't claim the US as their homeland, but they're still sharing the same world God made and that I live on. Shouldn't we do something?
I then started writing down just what type of effects HIV/AIDS has on these young lives:
* Many will become single or double orphans. Because their parents are labeled infected, their community will turn their back, as well as family, and upon illness or death, they will be left with the burden of trying to provide for themselves.
* If infected themselves, they face a life where people write them off as a lost cause, where they will always be seperated from the rest of the children, and where medical care and education will be denied to them because they are HIV positive.
* If treatment isn't available, or if their country doesn't have access to medication that actually works at keeping the virus in check, they face a death sentence.
Whenever I think of the fatherless, this is the part that hurts the most. It's never a choice. Orphans don't choose where they started, what happens once life begins, or the body they take their first breath in. When a newborn fills up her lungs and cries out, she doesn't realize the deadly enemy already residing in her veins, or just how much the world will reject her because of it. She's just trying to live. For me, my heart screams, "That's not fair! She deserves a chance too!"
I have a sweet friend who now calls three of these children sons and daughter. I asked if I could share her story and what, if anything, would she like me to share about HIV and orphans. Her reply - stigma is STILL alive and well. Unkind, unfair treatment of these children is an everday ocurrence. Children watch parents die, and are then rejected by other family members because, they too, have the same diagnosis. Left in special orphanages for their kind, they may try to attend school, but they don't get the same attention from the teachers because that would be a waste of time. In one orphanage, 6 out of the 30 children still couldn't read, even though they are all over 10 years of age. People with the disease will refuse treatment, because in order to get the medication they need, they would have to walk into the HIV/AIDS clinic and someone might see them and know their terrible secret. So, instead of shame, they will choose death. And my heart screams, "That's not fair! They deserve a chance too!"
The knowledge that such pain and hardship exists weighs heavy upon me. While we have chosen to bring home a special needs child from China, I think to myself, is there one in Africa that's meant to carry our family name as well? And what if we did step out, take that chance, bring one of these little ones home? Sure, it sounds brave, commendable, something people should pat you on the back for, right? But, the honest part of me, the part I wish didn't exist, the part that I don't want to lay claim to says - what if that choice came with rejection? By friends. By school. By strangers. By family. It's one thing to know HIV is treatable and is so weak it typically dies once outside someone's body; it's another to know it's sharing the same space as you. I don't want to be afraid, but fear still simmers underneath my skin just itching to break free.
What would you do?
Would you donate your money to provide medication and medical care for these children?
Would you pack your bags and use your vacation days to travel to a foreign country to love and care for these children?
Would you love on a family living in your town, knowing their children have this hidden enemy living inside them? Let your children run free and wild with theirs?
Would you be willing to become a forever family to one of these children? To love and nurture, even though they may come to you bruised and broken from the shame, the loss of family, and the life they've exprienced? They carry scars the world has inflicted on them, but they still carry the image of their Father and they were still created for family. Yes, it requires doctor's appointments and daily dose administrations, but for many, the hope, the future, the love that it brings to these lives is worth so much more. As my friend says, all the medical stuff is no different than having a child with diabetes, that's not even the hard part of parenting. It's not an easy decision, but maybe it's one you could pray over.
I'll leave you with a quote from "Orphan Justice" that came from the HIV/AIDS chapter:
"Will you dare to take a risk, reach out, and live out the gospel to the victims of HIV/AIDS? I plead with you, for the sake of the millions of AIDS orphans who are suffering right now, to consider the possibility that God might be calling you to do something to help them. One day you will stand before Jesus, and in that moment, He will say, "I was sick and you...." You did what? You cared for Me? "You gave Me antiretroviral medicaion that save My life? You provided Me with food, clothes, and an education, even though I'd lost My parents to AIDS? You welcomed Me into your own family?" I pray that Jesus can give one of those answers instead of saying, "You did nothing."
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