The Death of Me

This adoption is going to be the death of me.
Some of you asked me to blog and update while we were in Costa Rica, so here it is: I am dying.
Before you go thinking I'm being overly dramatic, let me explain.
Life two months ago, before we had a travel date, while we were enjoying summer vacation, going out to lunch, taking day trips to the zoo and the movies, it was a good life. I had no complaints. 
Life today consisted of waking up at around 5:30 and the sun was already up. One child in our bed by 6, his two sisters in the same bed by 6:30, and arguing and complaining about someone taking up someone else's space within 10 minutes.
Fast forward to the point where we were trying to get some structured learning accomplished and I had one child who cannot focus on her own work because she's too busy looking after someone else, another who was trying to avoid any work at all, a 4 year old who was upset by his lack of workbook, a 13 year old who just wanted her sibl…

We Do Not Go Unarmed, Nor Do We Walk Alone

I had a kind friend that stopped me at lunch today and ask if I was planning to update my blog anytime soon. I realized that I have taken to publishing pictures on my Facebook page of all that has been happening, but no, I really have not sat down to share my thoughts. Not to worry, I've had my mornings of journaling all that is circling around my brain, letting my emotions and frantic thoughts bleed onto the paper in hopes of finding some release. And, I've even got a separate journal directed at our newest daughters and son, in hopes that one day I can share what was happening in my little corner of the world while we were waiting for them to become part of our family.

If you have ever thought of picking up a pen and writing down what may be on your mind, I encourage you to give it a try. It's a personal journal, there isn't anyone to impress, no one needs to read your words, they are yours alone. It's a beautiful safe space, and sometimes when I write, my though…

The Next BIG Step

A person once said, "An unopened gift is still a gift."
It doesn't matter whether anyone comes along to tear off the paper and gleefully exclaim joy over what's inside. Although you may think there is no fun in giving something that remains under wraps, the fact is, it's still a gift. 
God gave each of us a gift when He sent Christ to die as payment for our sins. We're born into this fallen world and, while we may have to wait until someone shares that there is the life-saving gift of redemption waiting for us to accept, the fact is, the gift was there long before we took a breath. The most precious gift, waiting for each of us to choose whether or not we wish to accept it. 
An unopened gift is still a gift
When we began our most recent turn in our adoption journey, it was because we felt called to give the gift of a family to 4 little girls and 1 little boy. I've written in my journal about these five, I've prayed over them again and again by name, I…

Wade Saves the Day!

If you've ever had the chance to get to know my husband or myself, I don't think it takes very long to realize that we are a marriage of two different personalities. One of us is very logical in their thinking, able to pick apart scientific questions and come up with correct answers, the other drawing a very pretty picture of something in nature and not giving a second thought to answering that same question. It's very handy for raising kids that need to finish their homework, because one of us helps tackle the science and common core math questions, while the other is the go-to for every poster board project, diorama, and writing edit.

But....our differing personalities can also cause some friction. While Mike only needs to know a general sense of whether he's travelling North or South in order to get where he's going, and doesn't mind a wrong turn or two, I MUST have well-written, orderly instructions that must be followed to the letter. The second we deviate…

What's Beneath the Surface

As we get closer to the finish line of this adoption, our agency has asked that we begin to prepare for the reality of meeting our kids, bringing them home, adjusting to our new lives. There are books to revisit and conversations to have as we try and create a toolbox of helpful tips and things to remember. I've messaged other adoptive mamas and picked the brains of foster parents for how things "really are." And here's what I've learned:

Fostering/adoptive families are a lot like icebergs.

To the rest of the outside world, when you see one of these families, you probably get that warm fuzzy feeling that comes from this blended family of parents and kids that's the result of a heart deep desire to see children welcomed into forever families. It's a beautiful picture, it really is. I had a chance to look at a video of families that have adopted from Latin American countries from our agency this week, and it was so encouraging to see family after family who…


When I was a little girl, my daddy worked for a civil engineering firm and he gifted me with one of his old briefcases full of various tools used at his job. Being the visual, artistic person I am, I would pull out my tools and map out my bedroom on a piece of paper. I would then make little shapes that would represent my bed, desk, dresser, etc. and I would cut the shapes out and begin to rearrange them in my little bedroom model until I came up with a new layout that suited my fancy and I would rearrange my room to reflect my design. 
If you had asked me when I started high school what I envisioned for my future, I would have told you I was planning to go to law school, graduate, get a job, be married sometime in my mid-20's, and have a kid or two in my 30's.
When my husband and I took a cruise many, many, many years ago, every morning I would wake up and scour the daily list of activities that were available to us and I would pick and choose just how we would spend our day…

What I'm Willing to Share

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

Before I begin sharing with you my thoughts, I need to preface this post by saying it is in no way intended to be a harsh scolding or to make anyone feel bad. Please, please don't take it that way. Instead, I'm hoping that this will give you a chance to stand in my shoes, to read my thoughts, to see things from my perspective.

That being said, most of the time when people hear that we are adopting 5 children, that we are actually connected to 5 lives that will become part of our family, that we know their names and ages and have seen a picture of them, the one question we're asked is, "Do you know what happened to their parents?"

Now thankfully, at this point in our adoption story, our kids aren't home with us yet and they haven't had to overhear this question. But for the most part, my answer will be that we really haven't been given much information at this point. And the …