Our Modified Life
I saw them.
That stream of pictures of your kids in their Halloween attire. Tiny ninjas and Disney Descendants. I smiled at the shark week family and oohed over the creativity some of you have when making homemade costumes.
And yeah, I felt that tiny tickle of guilt as my kids lay across all our couches, munching on popcorn and eating the small handful of snack size candy bars I gave them as they watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."
Watching a movie and not trick or treating because I just couldn't this year.
October had us spending our first entire calendar month in the US as a family. It was the month my kids visited the eye doctor for the first time, started attending Sunday School for the first time, the month their dad returned to full time work, and yes, the biggest of all, they started school here in America. Which I've come to learn also seems to include the first time they have ever been asked to do homework, or maybe the first time any parent sat down to help make sure they completed their homework. Either way, it's been a big month of changes and stressors and modifications here in our house.
The one thing we've learned about our kids is, we NEED a schedule.
We do our BEST with a schedule.
We SURVIVE with a schedule, and people, that's important around here.
With routine comes security, security our kids can hold onto knowing what comes next and not feeling so lost and therefore fearful of the unknown. It helps them know where they're headed, how long they'll be at it, and what will be expected of them.
For instance, in our house, wake up for school is at 6:30 and we try to be out the door by 7:25. After school, there's designated free time, then homework, dinner, baths, story time, bed routine, but on Friday you get to forego homework and enjoy movie time. Saturday at 10, we work together as a family, rotating chores to get the house clean. Sunday is church and rest day, which we had to explain that if God needed a day to rest, so do we, and therefore, it's a day of very low key, laid back activity.
To you, that may all seem like crazy structure. Where's the room for spontaneity and fun? But for our family, it's the path of peace. My mama used to always tell me, "follow the path of peace" when it came to decisions. That sounded a little new age at the time, but now, I embrace those words and do what I can to grab hold of some peace every chance I get.
Which brings me back to Halloween. Yeah.....once Mike and I discussed all the different personalities we now have in our family and the idea of costumes, I could see the not being able to decide or one person hating what they had chosen the day of and melting down. Not to mention the obsession we have about things being divided fairly (they equally divvy up the big bowl of grapes at breakfast, one by one) and all those bags of candy, and the endless questions of when do I get to eat all that candy, and the she took something out of my bag, and the missed bedtime becoming the next morning foul attitude, and the wired up hyper activity that would have wrapped all of Halloween into what came down to a bad idea.
So, we modified. Hamburgers and Coke became the dinner menu, the kids got a middle of the week movie with candy fest, and our eldest tico explained to her math teacher today that she didn't dress up for Halloween because her mom hates the holiday. Which I honestly do, so I'm happy to take the fall, but the fact is, last night was a good night. One that we enjoyed. Together. Without meltdowns or fist fights over Kit Kats. Okay, they probably wouldn't have thrown punches, but we've had complaints of an elbow jab or two and vicious verbal sparring over Mario...if you have more than one kid, you probably understand.
Who knows what next Halloween will bring? Maybe we'll have an entire troupe of cartoon characters walking door to door, or we may still have our porch light off, eating all the good chocolate I bought that day at the store. But it will hopefully continue to be what we decide is best for us.
That stream of pictures of your kids in their Halloween attire. Tiny ninjas and Disney Descendants. I smiled at the shark week family and oohed over the creativity some of you have when making homemade costumes.
And yeah, I felt that tiny tickle of guilt as my kids lay across all our couches, munching on popcorn and eating the small handful of snack size candy bars I gave them as they watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."
Watching a movie and not trick or treating because I just couldn't this year.
October had us spending our first entire calendar month in the US as a family. It was the month my kids visited the eye doctor for the first time, started attending Sunday School for the first time, the month their dad returned to full time work, and yes, the biggest of all, they started school here in America. Which I've come to learn also seems to include the first time they have ever been asked to do homework, or maybe the first time any parent sat down to help make sure they completed their homework. Either way, it's been a big month of changes and stressors and modifications here in our house.
The one thing we've learned about our kids is, we NEED a schedule.
We do our BEST with a schedule.
We SURVIVE with a schedule, and people, that's important around here.
With routine comes security, security our kids can hold onto knowing what comes next and not feeling so lost and therefore fearful of the unknown. It helps them know where they're headed, how long they'll be at it, and what will be expected of them.
For instance, in our house, wake up for school is at 6:30 and we try to be out the door by 7:25. After school, there's designated free time, then homework, dinner, baths, story time, bed routine, but on Friday you get to forego homework and enjoy movie time. Saturday at 10, we work together as a family, rotating chores to get the house clean. Sunday is church and rest day, which we had to explain that if God needed a day to rest, so do we, and therefore, it's a day of very low key, laid back activity.
To you, that may all seem like crazy structure. Where's the room for spontaneity and fun? But for our family, it's the path of peace. My mama used to always tell me, "follow the path of peace" when it came to decisions. That sounded a little new age at the time, but now, I embrace those words and do what I can to grab hold of some peace every chance I get.
Which brings me back to Halloween. Yeah.....once Mike and I discussed all the different personalities we now have in our family and the idea of costumes, I could see the not being able to decide or one person hating what they had chosen the day of and melting down. Not to mention the obsession we have about things being divided fairly (they equally divvy up the big bowl of grapes at breakfast, one by one) and all those bags of candy, and the endless questions of when do I get to eat all that candy, and the she took something out of my bag, and the missed bedtime becoming the next morning foul attitude, and the wired up hyper activity that would have wrapped all of Halloween into what came down to a bad idea.
So, we modified. Hamburgers and Coke became the dinner menu, the kids got a middle of the week movie with candy fest, and our eldest tico explained to her math teacher today that she didn't dress up for Halloween because her mom hates the holiday. Which I honestly do, so I'm happy to take the fall, but the fact is, last night was a good night. One that we enjoyed. Together. Without meltdowns or fist fights over Kit Kats. Okay, they probably wouldn't have thrown punches, but we've had complaints of an elbow jab or two and vicious verbal sparring over Mario...if you have more than one kid, you probably understand.
Who knows what next Halloween will bring? Maybe we'll have an entire troupe of cartoon characters walking door to door, or we may still have our porch light off, eating all the good chocolate I bought that day at the store. But it will hopefully continue to be what we decide is best for us.
Comments
Post a Comment