The Tortoise & the Hare

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1

On July 3, 2013 I wrote a post entitled "Let the Home Study Begin!" On June 5, 2014 I received an email from my social worker that our home study was complete, that our I-800 is sitting safely with the US Government waiting for approval, and instructions on how to begin putting together our dossier. Almost one year since we began. One. Year.

*Sigh*

I thought it was going to go much faster than that. I was so excited the day of our first interview. I was vibrating with energy, ready to get this thing done. But then the unexpected happens, and what you proudly claimed would take six months, takes almost twice that long. When you look at the projected time line for your adoption process, you realize, you're going to be closer to the greater amount of time then the quickest.

Now? Now, I feel like I'm stuck inside the classic fable of the tortoise and the hare. And, if you didn't catch on yet, I'm the tortoise.

(Okay, maybe I have slightly better skin than this little guy. I'm pretty good about applying sunscreen before I head outdoors and lotion each night before I go to sleep.)

The point I'm trying to make is, sometimes this adoption community can feel like a race. We're all heading to the same finish line, that is to be home with our newly adopted sons or daughters. But the journey can go at such different speeds. Since I started, I've watched more than one family pack up their things, hop a plane and return home, child in tow. Our family has taken one year just to complete a home study. 

But here's the thing, see that verse at the beginning?

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven"

That verse speaks of every one of us having seasons in our lives, whether it's being born or dying, whether it's breaking things down or building, mourning or dancing. What it doesn't say is we're all on the same time line. That there's some regimented set of dates within which certain things must happen.

I was married at 18, had my first child at 21, had lost both my parents by the time I turned 30, and became a grandmother at 37. I'm fairly certain your story and your life events don't match mine. While my best friend and I may share Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, the seasons of our lives aren't synced up to occur at exactly the same moment. 

So, this adoption? It isn't a race, even though it may feel like one. 

That husband or wife you're praying for God to send to you? The baby you've been longing for? The house, the job, all the little things that we feel so competitive about. The things that we find ourselves stuck comparing to those around us? It's not a race. You are not falling behind. 

There is a great big God in control, and He's got it all planned out. If you lose yourself in trying to force your life to match up to someone else's, you will destroy a heart of gratitude and peace knowing that your can trust Him and He knows best. Instead, you sow a heart full of bitterness and envy, constantly dissatisfied with the way things are. That type of life is exhausting. It isn't what you were made for. 

Yes, it has taken our family almost one year to complete our home study. But, I've celebrated one sweet little grandbaby's first birthday. I've visited not one, but two, different countries outside of the US and had the joy of serving the fatherless and loving on them. I've celebrated twenty years of marriage. Not too shabby for my year of waiting. 

If there's something you've been praying for, you've been working towards, your heart has been aching to have, may you find peace today, friend. Today, tomorrow. This year, next. There are seasons and there is One who knows just which season is yours, right now. Trust Him. He's got this.