After the Midnight Hour

I feel some responsibility to you, dear reader, that upon issuing the challenge in my last post to observe the night watch with me, that I should share how the night went. My husband asked me this very question this afternoon, "How'd it go last night?"

Let's be honest people, it was exhausting.

I would label myself a night owl over being an early bird any day, but it seems I have counted enough birthdays to not be an all-night owl. So, if you begin every hour of the evening with 15 minutes of prayer, that only leaves 45 minutes to rest before the next call to pray. I stayed completely awake until just past 2:00 a.m. and then short bouts of sleep took control. I tried to journal my prayers in order to keep myself focused, but 4 and 5 came and went with only mental praying. I took up my pen again at 6, and finished out the morning.

Just to be clear, my writing at 3:00 a.m. is not my best stuff. I don't think you'll find me sharing that particular entry anytime soon...

Nevertheless, I firmly believe that when you submit to God's leading, there will always be a blessing. You may have to take time and reflect to find them, but I've always found them to be there. And last night was no different:

• I didn't need my alarm. I don't know about you, but using an alarm is not my preferred way of waking up. Alarms are never made of pleasant sounds, they focus more on ear piercing shrills that demand your attention and therefore drag you from your slumber so that you must awake. I did set my alarm each and every hour, but I never needed it. I simply began to awaken and noticed that it would be 3:58 or 4:59. I would push the alarm forward an hour and return to prayer. The need to not have such a rude awakening really did keep me in a more prayerful mindset. So for that, I am thankful the Lord kept watch over me and took care of making sure I didn't miss an hour.
• I did many things to pass the time - worked on my bible study, read a book, folded laundry, listened to praise music, and read through scripture. It was a delight to find, upon looking up scriptural mentionings of enslavement no less, a verse I don't think I've stumbled on before. "But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?" Galatians 4:9 NIV. Maybe this verse doesn't hit you the same way it did me, but it caused a moment of self-examination. Truly, upon knowing God and the precious gift of His salvation, why would I ever wish to be enslaved by my sin again?  Of course I wouldn't, yet, many times I fall into old ways. I'm thinking this one just may have to go in the memory bank for future use.
• He book ended this time of prayer with the most peaceful night and gorgeous morning. If you found yourself in Kentucky last night, you could have sat on your back porch at 9:00 without a coat taking in the still darkness, and you would have risen this morning to birds singing and a gorgeous sunrise. I got to take in both with all my senses, the glorious blessing of my Maker's creation.

My last entry of prayer was written solely about where I fit into this picture. What roll am I to play in trying to end such misery? I have yet to receive an email or text with the answer clearly spelled out in black and white. But, I do know this, I spent my day with a red X on my hand, and my evening pouring out my pleas on paper. That X has since been washed away, and I fear my burden for these children will diminish as well. I could tattoo that X permanently within my skin, but it would simply become a part of me I know longer pay attention to. How do I stay aware, how do I keep my mind on those that so many have forgotten? That was my final plea to my Heavenly Father, may I not forget them. You see them, each face and name clearly etched upon Your heart. Place them in mine as well.